A Teacher's Love

When the day finally comes when I quit my job at Miniapple, I'll feel wholly satisfied that all of the basic activities and experiences I wanted to share with the children have been met. Today, the last of my true wants was realized:

The older kids, while at the public library, checked out, for their classroom, "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark". Upon finding this treasure while rooting through the book pile in search of "new fish" to read to the children at Day Care circle time I remembered that it happened to be a certain child's last day at the school. He is about to go into elementary school. This kid has pestered me every day since I first retold orally the "Scary Stories" stories from memory sans book two years ago to tell the same stories to him again and again. He never let up.

I had the book in my hands today, and I thought it would be the perfect way to say goodbye to him.

So, with a picture book for the wee lil' ones tucked under one arm, and with Alvin Schwartz's shit-your-pants-from-fright collection of debauchery tucked under the other, I went down to the group. I announced my finds, first the standard safe picture book. Second, my jackpot.

I'll never forget the eyes of that child. They went as wide as a barn owl's.

After I trudged my way through the first book I announced, "As a present to -----, I'll take a small group of some of you into the library to read this story." A small group of five came with me.

Now remember: the leaving child had heard these stories countless amounts of times. He even has the audio book version (which might still be one of the most terrifying pieces of audio from my childhood).

After reading "The Big Toe" the kid said "Peter, I think I wanna go back into the climber now. It's too scary."

I was shocked. "What?! You've heard these millions of times, man!"

He said, "Yeah . . . I-I know, but . . ."

I persisted. "No, no, no. Not until you see this page."

The most terrifying picture of my childhood came from a story called "The Haunted House". I avoided this picture at all costs when I was little. I skipped the story only because of the picture.

No way was he going to get away without seeing that photo:

All the kids said "Ew!"

The leaving child said louder "Peter, I wanna go into the other room!"

"No, no, no. How about the classic 'Bloody Fingers' story."

He was back in my clutches.

The kids were hooked. Their parents came in, present for my reading of "Me Tye Dough-ty Walker!" They loved it. Especially at the climactic scream at the end. The leaving child howled with frightful laughter, hugged me hard, and embarked on his post-pre-school life.

The last thing he did in pre-school was scream in delight. I think it was the best send-off I've ever given a child. I loved that kid.

*Here is one of the stories from that notorious audio book. I've searched high and low over the years for it. A couple of months ago I found it on a torrent site. Best download of my life.*


Saul Williams -- "Skin of a Drum"