Fine Print of Obligation

Sitting down in front of the Committee for Personal Growth, I lusted for a shot of hard liquor. Just one gulp to make the painful truths spewed forth from the mouths of the Committee a trite more bearable. Alas, I was sans Moonshine.

Chairman Hobbes: "Hello Peter. You understand why you are meeting with us today?"

Me: "Yessir, I do."

Hobbes: "Why don't you grace us with your exposition?"

Me: *Clears throat* "Sure thing. I have a pretty strong feeling that it has something to do with me continuing work at Miniapple, even though I put my notice in a month ago stating that I would most likely not be working there past August 27th."

Hobbes: "You have a 'pretty strong feeling', eh?"

Me: "Yessir, that's what I think."

Hobbes: "You're absolutely right, Peter!"

Me: *Smiles* "Ha! What do I win?"

*No one says anything. Awkward pause*

Me: "Just . . . just a little joke--"

Hobbes: "Peter, why haven't you followed through on your proposal? We thought that it was a great endeavor, an act of pure transcension and courage, for you to commit to such a feat."

Me: "Well, I've been busy. Busy with Lizard People producing, I haven't had time to look for a new job. I mean, you understand, don't you, Mr. Hobbes?"

Hobbes: *Looks condenscendingly irritated* "Peter, I'm a figure of growth within your brain. If I had any sort of attribute toward leniency, would I now hold such a position on this committee?"

Me: "No sir."

Hobbes: "Glad you understand. Well now! This Lizard People business . . . it is ending soon, isn't it?"

Me: "Yes sir."

Hobbes: "And you are going to move forward with Patch, aren't you?"

Me: "That's the plan."

Hobbes: "And you intend to find a job around this time as well, don't you?"

Me: "After Lizard People, yes."

Hobbes: "Why do I get the feeling that you will use Patch as an excuse to stay within the confines of the Montessori?"

Me: "Sir, I know I don't have a good track record recently for personal growth, as it stands, but I do have it in SOME part of my history for taking risks--"

Hobbes: "Are you or are you not going to quit your job at Miniapple, Peter?"

Me: "I don't know."

*The committee gasps*

Hobbes: "We're not liking what we are hearing, Peter."

Me: "I understand. But, I think Patch in and of itself promises growth. What with all the phone calls, collaborations, shows, business plans, I mean, I'm doing this all by myself, sir. And Miniapple affords me Health Care options, easy work, an okay sum of money--"

Hobbes: "So you DO plan to work there indefinitely?"

Me: "Once Patch gets underway I'll think about it."

*The committee sighs in resignation*

Hobbes: "How much longer is this going to go on?!"

Me: "Stop focusing on the day job! Focus on the dream. I could give two shits about my day job right now! Should I take a lesser paying barista job?! Service?! I'll look when time affords it!"

Hobbes: "You got a call from Miniapple's owner, did you not? She asked if you would be willing to take a full time job at their Roseville branch?"

Me: "That's correct. I told her I was happy with my current position due to the work being dealt out at home. I know this all seems lazy on my part, but I really can't focus on the day job until it either becomes a necessity, like with bills and money issues dealing with my future insurance and phone expenses, or when it's convenient within a lull of Patch activity. I hope you can understand this."

Hobbes: "I expect growth to occur due to your financial responsibilities, yes. I'm not sure on Patch, though."

Me: "Well, me neither. But we're about to find out, aren't we?"

Hobbes: "Yes, I suppose we are."

Me: "So . . . are we cool?"

Hobbes: "We will never 'be cool', or else we wouldn't exist, now would we?"

Me: "But we're okay for now."

Hobbes: "We shall see."

Me: "Are we done?"

Hobbes: "We will never be d--"

Me: "CAN I JUST FUCKING GO?!"

The Zutons -- "You Will You Won't"