Don't Drive Angry

The weirdest holiday. Groundhog Day. My coworker made a weird face, an almost irritated face, when I reminded her about the holiday. This isn't some consumer "Hallmark" holiday brought up by card manufacturers itching to have a rise in sales on particular days. This is hokey. This is kid stuff.

The reason I like this holiday so much is that it gives me an excuse to enjoy one of the finer "holiday" movies on the market: "Groundhog Day". My favorite holiday movies include this one, "Scrooged", "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation", and a plethora of Halloween movies, since I'm a major horror freak. Maybe she was irritated because she is outspoken against animal cruelty. Do the peeps down in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania mishandle the groundhogs? It doesn't mean shit compared to the symbolism of Martin Luther King day, but people could volunteer in animal shelters to make up for it all. It could be an animal awareness day.

There has been a 39% success rate in the groundhogs' predictions in 13 cities over the years. Looking at the predictions this year, there are more "6 Weeks of Winter" forecasts than "Early Spring", so there's a 2/3 chance that we might get an early spring. So, thinking about it, you almost have to expect the opposite of what the groundhog's shadow perception is judging by this almanac of historical record. That's the secret. If I was a betting man, I'd always bet against the groundhog.

But here's an interesting tidbit from Wikipedia's "Groundhog Day" entry:

"In western countries in the Northern Hemisphere the official first day of Spring is about six weeks after Groundhog Day, on March 20 or March 21. About 1,000 years ago, before the adoption of the Gregorian calendar when the date of the equinox drifted in the Julian calendar, the spring equinox fell on March 16 instead. This was exactly six weeks after February 2. Assuming that the equinox marked the first day of spring in certain medieval cultures, as it does now in western countries, Groundhog Day occurred exactly six weeks before spring. Therefore, if the groundhog saw his shadow on Groundhog Day there would be six more weeks of winter. If he didn't, there would be 42 more days of winter. In other words, the Groundhog Day tradition may have begun as a bit of folk humor."

In hindsight, Groundhog Day comes up short. Meaning it doesn't mean anything! When it was created, people were having fun with a stupid fucking groundhog! Whether or not he saw his shadow, Spring would come at a fixed time anyway. Either 42 days or six weeks, which is the same amount of time. What does that mean? The holiday is meaningless? Another superstition explained rationally? I feel cheated.

February is also Black History Month. I think Morgan Freeman says it best:


So, what's worse? Rolling your eyes at Groundhog Day, or acknowledging Black History Month? You have to pick one. I feel that if this were a serious conversation, we would no doubt come to the same conclusion about what day or holiday concept was more potent and relevant, especially since we've established the fact that Groundhog Day is meaningless with the 6 weeks to 42 days tongue in cheek "joke's on you dipshits" attitude. In that regard, the groundhog must die . . .



The Black Keys -- "Strange Times"