I forgot when, but the roomies and I had a talk about a gender anomaly: there are a number of things guys put into their minds pertaining to certain aspects of life that women never meddle with. For instance, there are a certain number of women who don't poop. It just doesn't seem possible. There are a few women that I've met where I've gone "I bet she takes huge shits. Every day. In every way." Others: "Little turds." Others still: "Void of a waste system."
Another aspect: You never see women making explosion noises with their mouths. You might see them making airplane noises with kids, driving a car, something with a motor, but you never see them shooting guns and saying "PEEOOOOWWWWW!!!" (unless it's in a cute way, like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin shooting guns in a high pitched squeal "Pew pew pew!")
If it wasn't for me making these noises, I don't think Patch would be what it is. Honestly. Listen to "Trachomanic" and most of those sounds came from my mouth. That's how I write music, too. I scat. I can't picture female artists doing this.
My ideal woman: someone who is on the cusp of "Little Turds" to "Void". Heaven help me if they make "PEWWWWWWCCHHHH" noises. I really would like to see a woman do that. My heart will melt. Well, in this case, I'll shit a brick.
Saul Williams -- "PG"
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