Bean Bag Boner

Upon disembarking the weary walls of the school today, I happened to chance upon a group of frat boys next door engaging in one of the most puzzling activities/norms for their particular group. When I think of frats, I think of rufie laden house parties, beer pong, dude bros, popped collars, a proposed fight that never occurs . . . and bean bag tossing.

Anytime the sun is out around colleges, you see guys throwing bean bags into opposing wooden slabs with circles cut into them. How is this such a hoot that it merits a top position of "normality" for the most masculine of masculines? It's a goddamn carnival game played by children or by cute couples out and about on one of their first dates. I have nothing against the game personally. It's just a game. But how is this as prevalent as Kanye glasses in the hipster circuit? I guess for the same reason that Kanye glasses are popular in the hipster circuit. One person started it, enough people saw that enough people accepted it, and so it was written. But it's definitely not as cool as Bocce Ball or Croquet, let's be honest. It's the only game three year olds can play in our Little Olympics event at the school without our help. It's a big hit for them.

Beer and bean bags . . . there's a ton of symbolism in this comparison, I'm not gonna lie. Maybe the alcohol turns the mind into a reminiscent machine resorting to the three year old psyche hidden deep inside, crying and wetting the hypocampus, lusting for another overtake of the conscious control room. Only they have 20 year old penises.

The Beatles -- "Octopus's Garden (LOVE remix)"