Turds of Wisdom

Last night I admitted to a fellow standing next to me at a pee trough full of ice that you can melt into works of art that I had stage fright whenever I peed next to people. The guy looked at me and said "I used to be the same way. But a friend of mine once said 'You just take as long as you have to, amigo'."

I started laughing. "That doesn't mean anything, man."

One hand holding his weiner, the other hand going to my shoulder, he said "Just take as long as you have to."

I said "It might take a little longer with you doing that."

We shared a laugh, he finished up, walked out the door. Immediately, I started lettin' 'er rip. As I sculpted my ice sculpture I had a horrible thought.

He didn't wash his hands, which meant that the shit from previous bathroom sessions was most likely on his hands, which was most likely now on my shoulder.

You ever get advice that you never asked for in the first place? And then actually get sick because of it in the end?

Talking Heads -- "Psycho Killer"