Mel Gibson in "Still Wish We Knew What Women Wanted"

I'd like to preface this entry with a disclaimer: this entry's about sex. Heed the "Content Warning" sign if you're a parent of a small child I may or may not teach day in day out. These are my thoughts, I don't bring them to work. Plus, if you're a family member that's over 30 it's just weird for you to continue reading. Also, this isn't derived from any current activity or person that I'm involved with physically. This is just general musing on the topic of sex and the battle over communication and coherent answers.

My roommates and I had a talk about sex. We do this on occasion. About what we like, what we don't like. I'd assume women talk about this stuff, too, in their way. Maybe the same way. I don't know. Maybe they don't talk at all.

Is it just me, or are guys pretty much the same when it comes to sex? Every single guy I've talked to has agreed with me 100% about our likes and dislikes, or they're at least leading me on in making me think they think like I do. The difference lies in how much initiative they take in carrying out their desires in the bedroom. Some are shy, some are really aggressive. My roommates are on the aggressive side along with me, so maybe I feel every guy is the same because my only frame of reference is my roommates and their girlfriends.

The topic of discussion today started with me saying "You know, if you ask a girl what their fetish is they'll look at you as if they don't know what you're talking about. Me, I'll flat out say 'I'm into this and this and this and this.' Tangible, discernible objects and concepts. Girls are into abstract emotions and feelings, usually."

Is this true? Guys are into clothes fetishes, food fetishes, gothic fetishes, peeing, clowns. Things you can easily define. Women? Dominance or commitment. Passion. Well, yeah, those things are great, but they're not really definable. I'm committed when I make love, yes, but . . . that's your fetish? You like it rough in the sack, but that's not a fetish. That's just your style.

Maybe fetish is a style. Maybe I haven't met a woman who has "fetish" in their style schema. Maybe it's me who is a little out there with all my fetish wondering.

This led us to talk about the fact that we would love a girl to define everything she wanted in the sexual session that was about to proceed shortly thereafter. If asked, of course. I'd love to have a bulletpointed script "Start tousling my hair, kiss my elbows, caress my breasts, cup my vagina, then lick my clit until I scream bloody murder."

I could do a script like that if asked. For those special times when someone says "What do you want?"

"Well, I, ahem, prepared a list for an occasion such as this, since you asked."

In all my years, and of all the girls to whom I've asked that question, they've always said "I don't know. Um . . . maybe . . . kiss me, then just . . . maybe finger me, then go in me." I could have guessed that.

No one knows what they want. They just want you to read them, their body language, and then guess-timate. If you make them squirm with delight, gold star for you! You guessed correctly!!! If you make them squirm in discomfort, you win some you lose some.

Sex is communication. Laugh at the body farts your skin makes when you hump the fuck out of each other. Stop and say "Hey, alright, go a little to the right . . . oh, right there!"

Nope. It's a guessing game for us guys.

Now, I'm not putting all of the blame on you women. I'm me. I'm only speaking through my experience. Maybe I'm not good at communicating, maybe this is a weird way to deal with my sexual frustrations or whatnot. But I do feel like 9 times out of ten, the ladies I've dealt with didn't know what they wanted. "What Women Want"? They're asking themselves that same question. Guys? I feel like they know TOO MUCH of what they want, to the smallest detail.

In my case, I'm almost a little afraid to speak of my desires.

Am I ashamed of them because they may be derived from somewhat demeaning porn related media? Guys like their porn. Is this one reason for the surety of desire in men? Is it because we fantasize more in a sexual, physical context rather than the emotional bondage I was taught that women tend to fantasize in?

"Just being with you makes me happy."

"Yeah, but what do you WANT?! Being with you makes me happy, too, but what's gonna make you scream with pleasure for the next ten minutes?! My finger?"

"No."

"My tongue?"

"Not tonight."

"Well, what then?"

"Just you."

"FUCK!!"

WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING!!!!!! GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER!!!!

At least Peaches knows what she wants . . .

Peaches -- "Two Guys (For Every Girl)"