TSA: Tricks of Simulated Authenticity

Today we flew back to Milwaukee.

There are a couple of things that make me go on tirades. Rants galore. One: the song "Proud to Be an American". Nothing can be said, it speaks for itself. There's just a natural reaction within me that makes me dry heave whenever I hear it. It's cliche to comment on it. It's just a fucking stupid song.

Two: TSA Airport Security.

Why the single-serving liquid containers? I always forget this tidbit when I fly. I stupidly pack my regular big bottle servings of shaving cream, mouth wash, shampoo, etc. Are we going to make bombs? If someone wanted to, they would. What if someone had a bowl of gasoline at home and dissolved tons of styrofoam popcorn pieces in it until it thickened into napalm? You could dump that shit into various single-serving products and use them against the crew. Oh, with the four books of MATCHES that you're allowed to bring onboard, you could pretty much bring the plane down.

With 9/11, the terrorists wanted to strike terror into the hearts of Americans and the Western World. Why do we give them the benefit of us seeming like we're terrified of terrorism by having heightened faux security in our airports? They've won. Even if 9/11 was from the "inside", again, we're giving them the benefit of basking in a 1984 mentality. We feel comforted by this security, for some reason. Yet, going through it is terrifying. I am terrified by TSA, not going to lie. I knew my bag was going to be opened this time around because of a Roland drum sampler being nestled amongst my dirty underwear. I hate that they have the right to do that. At least they had to root through my dirty underwear to get to it. I take pleasure in that thought.

If there was true intent within a passenger to hijack a plane, nothing would stop them. The plastic cup you get mid-flight could be ripped to become an eye-stabbing weapon. The matches you're allowed to bring onboard could be used to light the magazines in the seat pouches, the sick bags as well.

I don't get TSA. Soldiers can go up to the front of the line as a Thank You for their service. I don't gripe and grovel at this, but it makes me think of that wretched song, "Proud to Be an American". TSA and this song go hand in hand. There's something odd about traveling nowadays, and I can't put my finger on it.

It feels like we're trying to cover up for a past mistake by acting tough and overbearing. It feels unneccesary. We've been terrorized, and the next instance of terrorism won't come from air traffic. We're half expecting that. It will be from something else entirely.

Malls, schools, Grand Central Station, convention centers. Places where, guess what, security is minimum.

I hate playing into dress-up games. TSA is a mandatory tea party without any real tea provided. If they had tea maybe I'd buy into it.

The Raveonettes -- "Attack of the Ghost Riders"