The Bare

When I was growing up, I used to make up games involving pathways. People would have to follow my pathways, passing by scenes, needing to use Big Wheel bikes to go down hillsides, finding clues to what they were going to see in each new section. I would take State Park maps and figure out courses for people to follow along nature trails in order to read stories that I would come up with. Each chapter would be found in boxes at different checkpoints.

This was birthed out of a place of creativity and control. Storylines and pathways, new ways of telling the stories, different tools and instruments being utilized to make the stories more interesting. What massive core of my life has all this led to?

One of the byproducts of this game for me was the incessant need to explore EVERY facet of something I was interested in. If I went to a theme park, we had to do EVERY ride. My group would have to follow a "course", visiting smaller rides and building up to the megaloopers. When I visited Disney World in 2003, my mom and I did EVERYTHING. Every bathroom, every shop, every restaurant and every ride was experienced. In every park. Including the Downtown shops, the water parks, the mini golf courses. Let's just say I'm good on Disney World right now. I don't need to visit anytime soon.

If I love a band, I have to get ALL of their work. EP's, singles, all of the LP's (I sometimes leave out Live CD's, though. Live CD's are . . . eh). Legos? I had to get complete sets. I had all of the Aquanauts products back in the day (I still have the main base set up at my mom's house on a shelf in my old room), all of the Castle line as well. All of the Pixar movies. The list goes on.

So, when it came to Vegas today, I wanted to explore everything. If no one else was going to come along, I would've done it by myself.

The problem with doing everything is that things start getting repetitive and boring. Last night, I was floored by Vegas. From "Love" to Caesar's to the casino in Paris. Today, I started to get Vegas. And the glory was coming apart at the seams.

Every hotel has a casino. Every hotel has a theme. You can separate the good hotels from the bad by how well they integrate the theming with their casino area/mall area. For instance: Paris = Great Hotel! because of their integration of French fountains, the Tower, and fake streets going around the slot machines. The Venetian = Great Hotel! The mall area has fucking canals with gondola rides in the middle of the hotel with actual singing gondoliers! Excalibur = Not as Cool because of a loose castle look. Some places have bare walls. They should have brick walls with turrets and towers everywhere. Luxor = Pretty Good for their Egyptian theme. It's a little dark and creepy in there, though. Mandalay Bay = Not as Cool because I can't figure out what the theme is. Cool things inside, but I don't get it. Circus Circus = Not as Cool because it's old and just creepy. The 70's are showing through in the circus theme. Plus, the Adventuredome indoor theme park is vastly lacking. I'm surprised the place is still open.

The best hotels:
The Bellagio = The theme is confusing, but it's decadently Italian oriented. This place is Ritzy. Everyone is dressed to the nines here (I was in a thermal shirt and red jeans, basically my work clothes. Underdressed.). It just looks amazing all around.
New York, New York = Theming is spot on. New York skylines and streets, bars made to look like they're built onto a street corner. A fucking rollercoaster going through the skyline!!!
Paris = Best theme job overall. I've already spluged on this one.
The Venetian = Another great theme job. Plus, seriously, CANALS?!?!?!
Winn = Ritzy. Cool casino, too.


Runner Ups:
Caesar's Palace = Good theming, but there could be more. The Colosseum is a nice touch, though.
The Palazzo = A cross between The Bellagio and The Venetian. Just decadent and vaguely Italian.
Treasure Island = Adventure themed with rocks.
The Mirage = Adventure themed with rocks. A twofer. Get more original.
Luxor = Cool Egyptian theme, but the place is depressing because of all the grey interior. The outside's awesome, though.
Circus Circus = Just for the creep factor alone it's kind of interesting.

Not worth seeing:
Bally's, Flamingo, Hurrah's, Stratosphere (unless you want to pay $40 to go to the top of the tower to ride some rides), Excalibur, Mandalay Bay (unless you want to go for the bars and restaurants).

I didn't hit MGM Grand or the Riviera, though. I heard they weren't that special. I would've liked to have gone through Sahara and Rio, though.

After exploring all of these places, I was done with Vegas. Next time I'd like to pick a few places and just drink, gamble, and party. With people my own age, too. Get dressed up. See Cirque du Soleil one night (they have six shows in Vegas!). Maybe even venture off into the old Vegas, where the Golden Nugget resides.

Have more of a Sin-filled experience . . .

Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons -- "Walk Like a Man"

P.S.: The Jersey Boys is a pretty awesome show, as well. A bit expensive, though.