Mother Goosebumps

Get ready for a dorkgasm . . .

I finished reading "Goosebumps: The Haunted Mask II" to the kids on the playground this afternoon. After work, I got the itch to see if any other Goosebumps books were available online. Lo and behold, I found a jackpot:

http://www.scribd.com/search?cx=007890693382555206581%3A7fgc6et2hmk&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=UTF-8&q=Goosebumps+Welcome+to+Dead+House#1020

The site has tons of PDF files copied from the original Goosebumps books. Granted, it doesn't have every Goosebumps book ("Monster Blood" isn't anywhere to be found, sadly) but it'll bring you back to your childhood if you were an avid reader way back when.

My Grandma gave me Goosebumps when I was in second grade. "Monster Blood" was the first. She went to a local bookstore in Buffalo, New York, asked the clerk "What are kids reading nowadays?" They showed her the Goosebumps aisle. Knowing I loved monsters and horror, it was perfect.

I was hooked. I attribute R.L. Stine to be the one of my main influences. He's very easy to read, he's descriptive, he has a vivid imagination.

But thinking about it, if it hadn't been for my Grandma, I wouldn't have obtained some of my most precious influences. She bought me horror movies, my first Parental Advisory album (Pantera's "The Great Southern Trendkill"), the aforementioned R.L. Stine collection. She always laughs when I tell about some of these things and how they've influenced me. She always says something like "If I knew what I was actually buying you at the time I wouldn't have bought it!"

I'm so fucking glad she holds ignorance hand in hand with her love for me.

Now, picture this: I didn't have cable when I was younger, but my Grandparents did. My brother and I would watch hours of MTV, Nick, HBO. Korn, Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson all come on once when I was in fifth grade. I was hooked. At home, I hear Pantera's "Drag the Waters", Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams", Type O' Negative on a late night metal program on a Milwaukee Rock Station, Lazer 103, as it was called at the time. My birthday rolls around in sixth grade, my Grandma asks me what I would want. I tell her I want the new Pantera record.

In comes the mail, I open my presents on my birthday, I go upstairs to listen privately to my almost secretive posession . . . Upon the first five seconds something changed within me, a schema metastasized into something different, no music had ever been as intense, and a huge grin appeared on my face. I actually attribute that day to be the core influence behind Patch. Mixing in with some of the horror stories I had written in response to Goosebumps, I started formulating a vision.

Here's the song that sparked catastrophy, all thanks to my Meemaw:

Pantera -- "The Great Southern Trendkill"