War of the Neighbors

More in the saga: Neighbor VS Patch

Scotty was practicing tonight in the back for Patch and numerous other projects that he's involved with. He started at 6:30. Was going to practice 'till 8:30.

My irate neighbor with the crazy dog came pounding on the door again at 8:10. I answered it and she let me have it.

"I--I can't do it anymore. My head. My kid and his homework. You're gonna have to stop."

I listened. I said, "I can look for a space, but we're going to have one more practice tomorrow."

She said, "Not if you want the cops involved."

I shut up. I gave her the benefit of me complying to her, not saying I wasn't going to have a practice, but saying "I'll see what I can do."

I called 311 and asked for specifics on the noise issue. They said that noise cannot be louder than a conversation in the complaining neighbor's house. Here's the thing: the noise, when it permeates through our own house, is not louder than a conversation. I talked on the phone with Marta as Scotty wailed away as hard as he could.

I then walked over to the other neighbors' house, the ones with two toddlers residing within. I asked the mom, "Are we bothering you at all? Nicole is pretty irate."

She said, "No! You guys are great! You stop early, you're not too loud. You're fine."

I said, "Okay, would you say our noise is louder than a conversation at all inside the house?"

She shook her head, "No. Nobody's bothered by it. Believe me, we'd let you know. The bass is sometimes heard, but it's not too bad, no."

I said, "So, if a cop comes over and starts questioning me, you'd be okay with me saying that you were totally cool with us, the neighbors with kids, even."

She smiled and said, "Yeah, of course."

I left and walked back home, coming up with a gameplan.

When Nicole comes back over, I'll state the following:

1. Conversation noise level vs. Patch noise. The toddler family said they're fine with it.
2. When the budget allows, I will sound proof the room as much as possible.
3. 9:00 we are always done, at her request. It could be 10:00.
4. When we have enough money, we will get a practice space not in the Monroe House.
5. I will leave schedules of when we will have noise going on in the back. I will have a little envelope marked "Nicole" with my schedule on it each week posted underneath my mailbox. I will not go over to her house risking my ass again with that dog running around.
6. If we truly are talking noise issues, then when cops come over I can bring up the fact that her dog wakes my roommates up at all hours of the night. It barks all hours of the day. Domestic fights and screaming are heard within our walls, the abusive boyfriend's motorcycle is a pain. It goes tit for tat. I'm complying, are you?

If this doesn't work, and cops still pull the plug on us, then we'll move. Until then, I'm resolute that Nicole is irritated and a little crazy as of late. I'm being as neighborly as I can.

I raised renting a space up to Scotty and he said, "That makes me rethink everything." Meaning, he can't afford a space. We're paying his way in the band, he can't pay $50 plus for a space. He'd leave. Fuck, the whole band would!

WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!?!?! I JUST WANT PATCH TO WORRRRRRRK!!!!!! FUCK!!!! I've helped out everyone else, why can't my own fucking band work?! So frustrating and disheartening.

Beck -- "Truckdrivin' Neighbors Downstairs (Yellow Sweat)"