LP III: Dark Alleys

LIZARD PEOPLE: Live Show #3

Memory Lanes -- Minneapolis, MN
July 31, 2009

SETLIST:
1. Pomp and Consequences
2. Snozberry Beret
3. The Know
4. St. Anthony
5. Double D-Day
6. Long Snake Moan (PJ Harvey cover)
7. Ginger Grapevine
8. Cubesong


Playing music in a busy bowling alley doesn't make much for crowd interaction. In fact, I felt like I was somewhat rehearsing. I felt comfortable and calm, but this wasn't a good thing. You want to be all fired up and fretting, shaking, sweating. Didn't hinder the show too much, but it wasn't our best show all around.

While drumming easy riffs or in lag times, I would find myself staring and following bowling ball trajectories as they careened down their consecutive alleys. Sometimes I would nod at the people who made strikes, with a quick salute with my sticks.

It's a strange venue. I don't know if I quite like it. I like the aspect of playing a rock show (since it's always fun) and then doing a smorgasbord of drinking and bowling (bands play for a buck, get two free drink tickets, and are given $100 upfront for playing the night. Good deal, to say the least).

It's just . . . not the best for artistic statements, let's just say. Otherwise it's a good place to play if you're content with being background noise for the evening, wanting to earn $30 while hanging out with close friends. I can't complain.

Claw Like Things -- "Monster Comes Alive"

The Coma Child Incident

I'm a fucking jerk when it comes to kids. More precisely, I terrorize them if they don't do what they're supposed to do.

One of my ongoing "-isms" at the school is to threaten to call a doctor if the kids are crying due to minor scrapes, blisters, little bumps to the noggin'. I usually keep a cell phone in my pocket while at work to check the time periodically, take a few snapshots of something cute, etc.

Today, I actually called the doctor on a kid.

2:30 is wake-up time. I turn on classic rock radio, turn it up (today we rocked out to Led Zeppelin's "What Is and What Should Never Be". One child, no taller than my knee, was playing drums while I air guitared), and put the cots away before reading a story and giving the kids a snack. One kid wouldn't wake up when he was supposed to today. He was breathing. He's just stubborn as all hell, as bad as a teenager.

I shook him with all the kids watching. "WAKE UP!!!" No avail. I threatened: "OH NO, HE'S IN A COMA!! HE'S NOT WAKING UP!! CALL THE DOCTOR!!!"

I took out my phone . . . and thought. What if I called Shannon . . .

I turned on the speaker. I called Shannon. She answered timidly, sitting in a cubicle, no doubt, at her job.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this the doctor? *Quieter* ShannonthisisPeteryou'readoctorplayalongdowhatisay."

Shannon: "Dude, I'm at work."

Me: "*Quieter* It'sokayjustplayalong. *Louder* Oh, this is the doctor! What's your name?"

Shannon: "Sam."

Me: "Who?"

Shannon: "Sam. Dr. Sam."

Me: "Oh, Sam. How are you? Yes, I have a patient, his name is -----. Is his name in your registry?"

Shannon: "Yes, yes it is. He's on record."

Me: "Good! Good! Well, I'm checking to see if he has a history of sleeping too long. As in falling into comas. I think he might be in one."

Shannon: "Hmmm . . . I might need to see him."

Me: "You will? Oh man. Alright, well, should we give him a shot of something. Adrenaline, maybe? We've got that lying around."

Shannon: "Yeah, I'd give him the shot. I'll be there in thirty minutes."

(The kid's eyes burst open)

Me: "Oh! Wait, he just woke up. I think he's okay!"

Shannon: "I'd give him the shot anyway."

(The kid jumped out of bed shouting "NOOOOOO!!!")

Me: "Alright, thank you Doctor."

Shannon: "No problem. I'll see you soon."


After this exchange, all the kids shouted "Can you call the doctor on me, too, Peter?!" The coma child was embarrassed and started fake punching me.

Thank you Shannon for playing along. You just scored a jackpot amount of points in my AWESOME book.

Led Zeppelin -- "What Is and What Should Never Be"

Give Peas a Chance

I assume you've read "The Princess and the Pea", or one of the story's adaptations. If you haven't, I'll refresh you:

A prince laments about how he can't find a REAL princess. They're all too beautiful, too fat, too skinny, have too many pets, etc. One day, a princess shows up at the doorstep of the court, seeking shelter from the rain (first off -- a princess in the rain? She doesn't travel by carriage or with coverage? Maybe she was also lamenting, wrought with emotion, opting to walk, dwelling upon her princess thoughts, like princesses are apt to do). The queen takes the opportunity to test this wet beauty. She places twenty of the most comfy mattresses in all the land on top of one single pea. She places the princess on this towering inferno of slumber. The next night, the king and queen, over the newspaper and english muffins, ask her how she slept. The princess complains that she could hardly sleep a wink due to an uncomfortable lump pressing against her back all night. The family smiles, content that because she is so sensitive, sensitive enough to feel a pea through twenty mattresses, she will be the rightful bride for the prince.

I have some reservations for this story, namely on the subject of "sense making": who in their right mind would want to marry someone who feels a fucking pea through twenty mattresses? If she's that sensitive, I'm sure she'll complain all the time. "The wind has grit in the air, it hurts my face!", "The sun beams are too hot!", "Your prick, while small, feels like sandpaper amongst my womb walls!"

How is this story showing children the merit of true love? It doesn't. It makes people want high-maintenance pea brains . . . come to think of it, this does explain the intriguing monsters down on First Ave. in downtown Minneapolis on the weekends. The high-strung princesses are out in full force in that locale with many a drooling popped collared chivalrian following close behind.

I'm never going to read that story to children again.

Metric -- "Monster Hospital"

Fate Took the Wheel, Laughing

Sign of the impending changes afoot: I was somewhat thrust into the precarious position of telling my boss my supposed plans for the fall, namely that I didn't plan on working at Miniapple past August 27th, the end of the true '08-'09 school year.

I've been wanting to put in that notice for a long time, as a catalyst to find a new job. But to play it safe, I thought I should find a job first and then state my plans to the higher ups. Funny how it worked out.

So, add to the plate: frantic job search.

Blonde Redhead -- "Harmony"

Aching For Your Moans

We've set up shop in the living room yet again. Ready to raise hell this Friday at Memory Lanes. And here's my new baby in it's full glory rather than stacked amongst junk in what should be our practice space:

PJ Harvey -- "Long Snake Moan"

Three Timing

As I formulate the material for the first incarnation of Patch Live, I've been dabbling into my current love life and the thoughts sparked from that realm, two records (The Mars Volta's "Octahedron" and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' "Is Is"), and Bukowski. Here's one doozie of a hint at what the subject matter for the first round of songs will be like:

"FREEDOM
by Charles Bukowski

he drank wine all night the night of the
28th. and he kept thinking of her:
the way she walked and talked and loved
the way she told him things that seemed true
but were not, and he knew the color of each
of her dresses
and her shoes--he knew the stock and curve of
each heel
as well as the leg shaped by it.

and she was out again when he came home, and
she'd come back with the special stink again,
and she did
she came in at 3 a.m. in the morning
filthy like a dung-eating swine
and
he took out the butcher knife
and she screamed
backing into the roominghouse wall
still pretty somehow
in spite of love's reek
and he finished the glass of wine.

that yellow dress
his favorite
and she screamed again.

and he took up the knife
and unhooked his belt
and tore away the cloth before her
and cut off his balls.

and carried them in his hands
like apricots
and flushed them down the
toilet bowl
and she kept screaming
as the room became red

GOD O GOD!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

and he sat there holding 3 towels
between his legs
not caring now whether she left or
stayed
wore yellow or green or
anything at all.

and one hand holding and one hand
lifting he poured
another wine."

The Mars Volta -- "Copernicus"

Severed Blue Balls

There's something notable about a woman who insists on watching a movie consisting of a scene in which a girl cuts off the genitalia of a pedophile. Most people would think "God, she's fucked up!" Or "She must be a feminist!"

Me, I think she's right up my alley . . .



Goldfrapp -- "Train"

Within Your Blackouts

One of the conversation topics I found myself in the middle of tonight happened to be on seizures. I've only dealt with my now deceased dog's seizures. It's extremely unsettling, thinking "Well, I know they'll be okay. Right? But, they don't seem to be doing alright. Oh crap, what do I do?"

My good friend Sam described his own seizure experiences, having had a few himself. If I can remember correctly: he was at a party. He was 20 years old. He felt somewhat dehydrated and dizzy, and thought he had said "Guys, I'm just going to lie down for a sec". Apparently, he woke up a bit later to a circle of concerned faces. They were saying "Are you okay?" Sam said, "Yeah, I told you I was just going to lie down for a sec." They replied, "No, you didn't say anything. You just fell over and started shaking."

I found a YouTube video depicting a woman in a full epileptic seizure, with a man, while supporting her, describing the whole thing. I've dabbled in the topic of seizures with my art, but I've never seen them in this light. I'm intrigued.



Sonic Youth -- "Expressway to Your Skull"

One Down . . .

First goodbye:
NAME: LOUIS MCCOY
ASPIRATION: Techie in the governmental campaign world. Moving to Washington DC in order to team with superior "JD" and to be fully immersed in the politics of the US. Blending his two favorite topics: computers and politics. He is a textbook example of "Chasing the Dream" and making it a reality. A true inspiration for me.
BEST MEMORY: Not so much one particular time, but a particular series of events with one motif. 1) Citizens Banned -- Louie was the most gung-ho about going crazy onstage. I felt the music through him, which prompted me to feel the music even more. He made playing live that much more worth it. 2) His klutziness -- this guy falls down more times, in more ways, than anybody I know. He tries to pass it off as purposeful misstepping, but this attempt at brushing off clumsiness only makes the falling that much more funny. One particular time he mas mimicking the movements of a schticky singer of the Le Cirque Rouge Burlesque Troupe, walking in such a way as to almost mimic a drunk Frankenstein monster. He proceeded to do this imitation on slippery ice, and ended up falling in such a cartoonish way, blending his shock with his ongoing imitation, that I think I pee'd my pants a little from laughing so hard. His true colors were shown during these times -- a heart of gold, and a soul full of laughter.

I'll miss you, my friend.

Faith No More -- "Midlife Crisis"

The Brotherhood of Salsa

A band started from a band.

The Brotherhood of Salsa.

A group of three became four. A group of four became seven. Became an uncountable amount of close friends.

The Brotherhood began in 2001, formed by three college roommates: Adri, Taylor, and Louie. They lived in the same dormitory at the University of Minnesota, flaunting debauchery every which way. They even formed a version of Taylor's dream band, Citizens Banned, playing odd shows here and there.

I met Adri back in 2003, just starting college, and trying to dip my toes as much as possible into the U's theater department. He and I had the pleasure of performing The Laramie Project together in 2005, where we formed a friendship. He also let me in on some trade secrets: "My band is looking for a singer if you're interested."

Cue my entrance into the small band of brothers in late fall 2005. Together, we tried mercilessly to become a force to reckoned with in the music scene within the Twin Cities. Needless to say, the band fell apart, but our friendship outlasted the downfall of the Banned.



The moniker "Salsa" is derived from one fateful afternoon drive in 2005, where Adri thought it appropriate to yell "SALSA!!!" at an unsuspecting passerby whilst driving to a Banned practice. This became somewhat of a movement and symbol, prompting us take on the name Brotherhood of Salsa, even going so far as to create a sort of game, rules and all, for the Salsa Slaughterfest: Cars vs. Bikes vs. Pedestrians. It was the most fitting name for us, seeing as though Citizens Banned was more its own entity rather than an open armed group ready to welcome new members into its ranks.

The Banned moved in together summer 2007, Louie having bought a house in Northeast Minneapolis. It was originally intended to be a creative space, a space for the Banned to flesh out practices, write new material, record, etc. As previously stated, the Banned broke up. But there were other projects, of course.

Kristen and Marta joined in on the fun fall 2007, girlfriends for some of us lads, turning into more of a sisterhood to complement our brotherhood. Nicole was appropriated officially during this time as well, and so was our drummer Dave for a certain amount of time. With that, we set about having a number of projects and festivities using the house as a central HQ. For the next two years, we were a force to be reckoned with indeed. I was content in knowing that I had successfully gained the friendship and comradery of great people, soul mates, and true brothers/sisters.

Nicole had moved away in 2008. Now it is Louie's turn. He is moving to Washington DC. Tonight we celebrate the end of the true core bind that held the Brotherhood together, having one of the original brothers let go into the ether of future prospect.

I raise a glass to you, my Brothers. May our Brotherhood continue on evermore, despite the distance in between, as we each disembark to our various destinies . . .

Citizens Banned -- "A Place for my Sanity"