Work work work.
Because of this, let's reflect on the current situation beriddling our society. Let's talk about Christmas.
The media surrounding Christmas tends to confuse me. It's hard for me to grasp the concept of a song written for the sole purpose of celebrating a holiday. You're only supposed to listen to it in November and December. After that, it seems empty and meaningless, if not downright creepy, to listen to the song in the "off" months.
Frankly, Christmas music sucks. You wouldn't listen to the music other than in those two months, that tells you something. It's interesting to listen to "empty" music. If Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" came on at the supermarket in July, you'd think "Why are they playing this? It doesn't mean anything right now!"
Music that is empty except for two months. We find it acceptable to play that music because all of a sudden, the music is flooded with meaning. Memories, family, lights, sleigh rides, horses, Santa, cookies, malls . . .
Because the music is empty most of the time, I can't help but think that it's all weak music. I hear this music and I cringe a little. Yeah, it brings me back, but there's something wrong about it, right? Something off.
Christmas movies tend to be the same way, but I find them to be more acceptable. A Christmas Carol is good, but it's probably the most Christmassy movie I can think of. That, and The Grinch.
A Christmas Story and Christmas Vacation are both strictly Christmas movies, but I can bear them. It's a Wonderful Life . . . it doesn't have to be a Christmas movie. It only takes place on Christmas at the end of the movie.
The one movie that makes me utterly confused, but not angry, is The Nightmare Before Christmas. Is it a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie? Halloween movies are anytime movies, but Christmas movies are like Christmas music, you can only play them two months out of the year or something is off. This particular movie is a Christmas movie with Halloween flair.
It is the only Christmas movie that is acceptable to watch year round.
It's like the message of the movie transcends into the emptiness of Christmas pop culture, turning what should be meaningless in July into something of pure delight filled with wholesome empathetical viewing.
What's also strange about this movie is the counterculture it has started. The typical "goth" high schoolers listen to Tool, Type O Negative, Marilyn Manson, and flaunt Nightmare Before Christmas flair.
What I find interesting is that Manson and Nightmare seem to be the most prevalent in this sub-culture's clothing. Manson has recorded a remake of "This is Halloween", the first song of Nightmare. What's interesting is that the Antichrist Superstar has gone hand in hand with one of the biggest corporate entities of the planet, Disney. While I love Disney parks and Pixar, I don't particularly subscribe to the doctrine of Disney Inc. I'm disappointed that Manson, the most eloquent anti-establishment lyrical writer that I know of, has opted to stoop to this level of creativity, going against what he wrote about for some 15 years. It seems like he's given up.
This "goth" sub-culture is also empty. Year round. They have no statement. They are read as anti-establishment but they represent Disney. It's like having Mickey Mouse on their clothes. They have no clue. All I can think is that they don't know what their point in life is at the moment of wearing those clothes. Jnco's and dog leashes and Airwalks and long stringy hair. This gets to me, moreso than Christmas pop.
Empty messages. You find hope in a great work of art only to find it lost on the people who flaunt the advertisments for that great art the most. It seems that this happens everywhere in pop culture . . . coughCHRISTIANITYcough . . .
And what's the holiday that Christians flaunt the most?
It's all subjective. The humble man reaps the most happiness, and I have fun with my family and friends with Christmas, but still . . . this time of year makes me uncomfortable.
Fake. Empty. Lost.
Vic Chesnutt -- "We Hovered with Short Wings"
Showing posts with label Shitty Pop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shitty Pop. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A Basterd's Work is Done
Call it a fault. Call it an attribute. Positive or negative, I don't care.
I like to see artists change with their work. I'm not content with artists who have found their nitch and stick to what they do best. I like to hear the inflection of their speech change. They keep the same bit of information intact throughout their lives, but how they say it changes ever so slightly.
I guess that's why I grew tired of The White Stripes. I always secretly hoped that Meg White would find syncopation in her drumming. The first three records would be a little amateur, but it would be endearing. All downbeat hits, all minimalistic. It was cute. I wanted "Elephant" to have a little bit more complexity. It didn't. I wanted "Get Behind Me Satan" to just up the anty an iota. It didn't. I figured I wouldn't even hope or bother with "Icky Thump".
That's why I love The Dead Weather and The Racounteurs. Jack White found syncopation. A new way to say his constant message.
So, apply this same train of thought when it comes to Quentin Tarantino. Although, in this case, I want him to go back to how it was in the beginning and apply it to the future projects.
"Reservoir Dogs" to "Pulp Fiction": A definite growth here. "Pulp Fiction" took the best elements of "Dogs" and upped the anty.
"Pulp Fiction" to "Jackie Brown": Maturity. A lot of the schtick Tarantino exploits were stripped bare, leaving great dialogue without the pretension of "Yes, Quentin, we know you know a lot about movies." It kept some of his trademarks intact, but made them work within the story without calling attention to each of Tarantino's isms.
"Jackie Brown" to "Kill Bill": Superstardom. Now, I loved "Kill Bill" when it first came out. It was Quentin using some of his best schticky cartoony trademarks and applying them in ways that made the movie just plain ridiculous. I loved "Volume 1" because of this. The schtick didn't work as well for "Volume 2", mainly because the story was taking over. The schtick was distracting, but I accepted it because "Volume 1" was all schtick and no story, so there had to be a little bit of stylistic continuity.
"Kill Bill" to "Death Proof": Nothing changed. The cartoon aspect of "Bill" stayed the same with "Death Proof". Characters from "Bill" reprised their roles in subtle, yet annoying ways. Plus, the know-it-all film buffary was at an all time high. It was too meta-Tarantino. But, in the end, I forgave this, since it was part of a meta-movie: "Grindhouse". It was a movie about movies. So, yeah, okay, bring back the "Kill Bill" formula again. That was a movie about movies, too. It was fine for this one romp.
"Death Proof" to "Inglourious Basterds": Nothing changed. This was supposed to be his masterpiece. The period piece. This has been in the works for years. I wanted something more along the lines of "Jackie Brown". It was again, sadly, like "Kill Bill". Comedic backstories, like the Lucy Liu backstory in "Bill", continued in this flick . . . but there was only one. Why have only one of those trademark backstories? It's like showing off your trademarks solely because you can. There was so much dialogue about movies it was making me irritated. Subtlety, Mr. Tarantino. Like in your first three movies. I want it like it was. No more animations, no more backstories in "Kill Bill" fashion. Stop the "Kill Bill" schtick and start again with story, adding a few schticks for spice. "Basterds" felt again like schtick and story were 50/50.
I know a lot of people don't see this, and they don't really care. It's the accepted Tarantino style. But I'm disappointed. I feel like Tarantino is like AC/DC. They reprised Rolling Stone riffs, made them cool in a modern sort of light, but once they found their nitch, as they hit their peak, there was no more growth. People love them, but they aren't going to change. I feel like we've seen all that Tarantino has to offer.
He could be so much more. Look at the Cohen Bros. or Aronofsky. Their work has changed over the years. "Pi" to "The Wrestler"? HUGE difference. "Raising Arizona" to "No Country"? Lots of difference.
"Basterds" is Tarantino's worst flick in my book. Overrated. His movies are now on Classic Rock instead of Alternative programming, whereas those big name director peers of his (Cohen, Aronofsky) continue to stay on top of Indie and Alternative charts within my pop culture schema.
Billy Preston -- "Slaughter"
I like to see artists change with their work. I'm not content with artists who have found their nitch and stick to what they do best. I like to hear the inflection of their speech change. They keep the same bit of information intact throughout their lives, but how they say it changes ever so slightly.
I guess that's why I grew tired of The White Stripes. I always secretly hoped that Meg White would find syncopation in her drumming. The first three records would be a little amateur, but it would be endearing. All downbeat hits, all minimalistic. It was cute. I wanted "Elephant" to have a little bit more complexity. It didn't. I wanted "Get Behind Me Satan" to just up the anty an iota. It didn't. I figured I wouldn't even hope or bother with "Icky Thump".
That's why I love The Dead Weather and The Racounteurs. Jack White found syncopation. A new way to say his constant message.
So, apply this same train of thought when it comes to Quentin Tarantino. Although, in this case, I want him to go back to how it was in the beginning and apply it to the future projects.
"Reservoir Dogs" to "Pulp Fiction": A definite growth here. "Pulp Fiction" took the best elements of "Dogs" and upped the anty.
"Pulp Fiction" to "Jackie Brown": Maturity. A lot of the schtick Tarantino exploits were stripped bare, leaving great dialogue without the pretension of "Yes, Quentin, we know you know a lot about movies." It kept some of his trademarks intact, but made them work within the story without calling attention to each of Tarantino's isms.
"Jackie Brown" to "Kill Bill": Superstardom. Now, I loved "Kill Bill" when it first came out. It was Quentin using some of his best schticky cartoony trademarks and applying them in ways that made the movie just plain ridiculous. I loved "Volume 1" because of this. The schtick didn't work as well for "Volume 2", mainly because the story was taking over. The schtick was distracting, but I accepted it because "Volume 1" was all schtick and no story, so there had to be a little bit of stylistic continuity.
"Kill Bill" to "Death Proof": Nothing changed. The cartoon aspect of "Bill" stayed the same with "Death Proof". Characters from "Bill" reprised their roles in subtle, yet annoying ways. Plus, the know-it-all film buffary was at an all time high. It was too meta-Tarantino. But, in the end, I forgave this, since it was part of a meta-movie: "Grindhouse". It was a movie about movies. So, yeah, okay, bring back the "Kill Bill" formula again. That was a movie about movies, too. It was fine for this one romp.
"Death Proof" to "Inglourious Basterds": Nothing changed. This was supposed to be his masterpiece. The period piece. This has been in the works for years. I wanted something more along the lines of "Jackie Brown". It was again, sadly, like "Kill Bill". Comedic backstories, like the Lucy Liu backstory in "Bill", continued in this flick . . . but there was only one. Why have only one of those trademark backstories? It's like showing off your trademarks solely because you can. There was so much dialogue about movies it was making me irritated. Subtlety, Mr. Tarantino. Like in your first three movies. I want it like it was. No more animations, no more backstories in "Kill Bill" fashion. Stop the "Kill Bill" schtick and start again with story, adding a few schticks for spice. "Basterds" felt again like schtick and story were 50/50.
I know a lot of people don't see this, and they don't really care. It's the accepted Tarantino style. But I'm disappointed. I feel like Tarantino is like AC/DC. They reprised Rolling Stone riffs, made them cool in a modern sort of light, but once they found their nitch, as they hit their peak, there was no more growth. People love them, but they aren't going to change. I feel like we've seen all that Tarantino has to offer.
He could be so much more. Look at the Cohen Bros. or Aronofsky. Their work has changed over the years. "Pi" to "The Wrestler"? HUGE difference. "Raising Arizona" to "No Country"? Lots of difference.
"Basterds" is Tarantino's worst flick in my book. Overrated. His movies are now on Classic Rock instead of Alternative programming, whereas those big name director peers of his (Cohen, Aronofsky) continue to stay on top of Indie and Alternative charts within my pop culture schema.
Billy Preston -- "Slaughter"
Friday, July 3, 2009
Milwaukee's Best
A somewhat yearly pilgrimage takes place for all of us Milwaukee hometowners. One event pulls us back like a Mecca magnet. The week and a half long conference for all things Midwestern debauchery.
Summerfest.
It's the largest music festival in the world and you've never heard of it. There are a couple of reasons.
It's a beer fest for beer no one likes outside of Milwaukee (it's a Miller orgy, I happen to like Miller, myself, but that's probably because I was born and raised in Mil-town).
It's a music fest for has-been music stars. Milwaukee's music scene is about as novel as a new AC/DC album. It probably doesn't change much from what they've done since the 70's. You've got boring beer, Harley Davidson, and a gung-ho for nothin' but sports mentality coalescing into one location along Lake Michigan, you've got Classic Rockers mixing with Clear Channel Nu-Metal mixing with Country Rock Blahdom.
Occasionally, you'll get the rare Roots event, Nine Inch Nails, Pearl Jam, but they all play at the pristine Marcus Amphitheater, which costs extra. Otherwise you're left to the whims of the secondary artists at eleven or so other stages. Most of the big acts that play the Marcus are country stars and classic rock artists, though. Bon Jovi makes a stop every year. Kenny Chesney, KISS, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tom Petty. There's nothing new going on here. This ain't Bonnaroo, Sasquatch, Coachella. Huge festivals, those are. Summerfest is even bigger. But you don't hear about it, do you? That's because NOBODY CARES.
Millions of people go to it (sometimes a million people per day go through the Summerfest gates), people from all over the world flock to it. But it's not talked about in the music world. The people who are content with the same ol' same ol' go to it. And that is EVERYONE. Yet NOBODY CARES. Do you see my point?
It's hard for me to go to Summerfest to see music. I go to drink and be with old friends. But I can only take so much. No matter the number of things to do in the Summerfest grounds, I'm bored to tears after hour three. It's all standing around, like a huge bar with your standard bar bands along an open shore. Seriously, that's all it is. An open aired dive bar that happens to have awesome specials. But in fact those specials happen to not be specials at all, but more expensive prices for cheaply made drinks set to music that makes you too comfortable to care.
It is what it is. That's all it is. And every year I seem to find myself traveling back there along the highway of forced nostalgia.
In other words, Milwaukee is my version of Hell.
AC/DC -- "Highway to Hell"
Summerfest.
It's the largest music festival in the world and you've never heard of it. There are a couple of reasons.
It's a beer fest for beer no one likes outside of Milwaukee (it's a Miller orgy, I happen to like Miller, myself, but that's probably because I was born and raised in Mil-town).
It's a music fest for has-been music stars. Milwaukee's music scene is about as novel as a new AC/DC album. It probably doesn't change much from what they've done since the 70's. You've got boring beer, Harley Davidson, and a gung-ho for nothin' but sports mentality coalescing into one location along Lake Michigan, you've got Classic Rockers mixing with Clear Channel Nu-Metal mixing with Country Rock Blahdom.
Occasionally, you'll get the rare Roots event, Nine Inch Nails, Pearl Jam, but they all play at the pristine Marcus Amphitheater, which costs extra. Otherwise you're left to the whims of the secondary artists at eleven or so other stages. Most of the big acts that play the Marcus are country stars and classic rock artists, though. Bon Jovi makes a stop every year. Kenny Chesney, KISS, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tom Petty. There's nothing new going on here. This ain't Bonnaroo, Sasquatch, Coachella. Huge festivals, those are. Summerfest is even bigger. But you don't hear about it, do you? That's because NOBODY CARES.
Millions of people go to it (sometimes a million people per day go through the Summerfest gates), people from all over the world flock to it. But it's not talked about in the music world. The people who are content with the same ol' same ol' go to it. And that is EVERYONE. Yet NOBODY CARES. Do you see my point?
It's hard for me to go to Summerfest to see music. I go to drink and be with old friends. But I can only take so much. No matter the number of things to do in the Summerfest grounds, I'm bored to tears after hour three. It's all standing around, like a huge bar with your standard bar bands along an open shore. Seriously, that's all it is. An open aired dive bar that happens to have awesome specials. But in fact those specials happen to not be specials at all, but more expensive prices for cheaply made drinks set to music that makes you too comfortable to care.
It is what it is. That's all it is. And every year I seem to find myself traveling back there along the highway of forced nostalgia.
In other words, Milwaukee is my version of Hell.
AC/DC -- "Highway to Hell"
Monday, June 29, 2009
Bean Bag Boner
Upon disembarking the weary walls of the school today, I happened to chance upon a group of frat boys next door engaging in one of the most puzzling activities/norms for their particular group. When I think of frats, I think of rufie laden house parties, beer pong, dude bros, popped collars, a proposed fight that never occurs . . . and bean bag tossing.
Anytime the sun is out around colleges, you see guys throwing bean bags into opposing wooden slabs with circles cut into them. How is this such a hoot that it merits a top position of "normality" for the most masculine of masculines? It's a goddamn carnival game played by children or by cute couples out and about on one of their first dates. I have nothing against the game personally. It's just a game. But how is this as prevalent as Kanye glasses in the hipster circuit? I guess for the same reason that Kanye glasses are popular in the hipster circuit. One person started it, enough people saw that enough people accepted it, and so it was written. But it's definitely not as cool as Bocce Ball or Croquet, let's be honest. It's the only game three year olds can play in our Little Olympics event at the school without our help. It's a big hit for them.
Beer and bean bags . . . there's a ton of symbolism in this comparison, I'm not gonna lie. Maybe the alcohol turns the mind into a reminiscent machine resorting to the three year old psyche hidden deep inside, crying and wetting the hypocampus, lusting for another overtake of the conscious control room. Only they have 20 year old penises.
The Beatles -- "Octopus's Garden (LOVE remix)"
Anytime the sun is out around colleges, you see guys throwing bean bags into opposing wooden slabs with circles cut into them. How is this such a hoot that it merits a top position of "normality" for the most masculine of masculines? It's a goddamn carnival game played by children or by cute couples out and about on one of their first dates. I have nothing against the game personally. It's just a game. But how is this as prevalent as Kanye glasses in the hipster circuit? I guess for the same reason that Kanye glasses are popular in the hipster circuit. One person started it, enough people saw that enough people accepted it, and so it was written. But it's definitely not as cool as Bocce Ball or Croquet, let's be honest. It's the only game three year olds can play in our Little Olympics event at the school without our help. It's a big hit for them.
Beer and bean bags . . . there's a ton of symbolism in this comparison, I'm not gonna lie. Maybe the alcohol turns the mind into a reminiscent machine resorting to the three year old psyche hidden deep inside, crying and wetting the hypocampus, lusting for another overtake of the conscious control room. Only they have 20 year old penises.
The Beatles -- "Octopus's Garden (LOVE remix)"
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Great American Con Artists
At work, as we were setting out the coloring supplies, we were trying to decide what to have the kids color. I mentioned, "Let's have them draw their interpretation of hope and despair." My colleague and myself started joking that most people would draw a half black half white canvas. I thought that someone out there must have already painted that idea and received thousands of dollars for it.
Then I thought of the next Great American Art Piece: "Hope and this Pear". I hope no one's taken that idea. It would be half and half, just like "Despair", one side would be white, the other would have a picture of a pear.
I'd be rich!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs -- "Art Star"
Then I thought of the next Great American Art Piece: "Hope and this Pear". I hope no one's taken that idea. It would be half and half, just like "Despair", one side would be white, the other would have a picture of a pear.
I'd be rich!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Yeah Yeah Yeahs -- "Art Star"Thursday, February 5, 2009
Thar She Blows
Do you ever wonder what your favorite celebrities sound like when they sneeze? Does anyone ever think about this other than me? I always wonder how Trent sneezes, how the amazing falsetto belching Robert Plant sounds during a cold, what cool and composed Marilyn Manson sounds like blowing snot out of his nostrils at 80 mph.
Just another -ism on my part, I guess.
The Rapture -- "No Sex for Ben"
Friday, January 23, 2009
Transform This
Just saw the worst movie. Absolute worst movie.
Last night the household watched "Transformers". Now, I can honestly say I wasn't a fan of the cartoon growing up. I used to rent VHS tapes with "Transformers" episodes on them from Blockbuster Video, but I could never successfully sit through a full episode. I opted for "The REAL Ghostbusters" instead.
Taylor got the Michael Bay epic from Netflix. We sat down knowing full on that it was going to be a cheesy popcorn film.
It was terrible. It was the only movie I've seen where I've felt the need to walk out without seeing the ending. The number one pet peeve I have with anything media-wise is when the creators place the location and time in a well-defined setting using pop culture references to do so. Case in point: in "Transformers" the protagonist wears a Strokes T-Shirt throughout the film. The robots speak in terrible ebonics dialect. Characters use current shitty pop stars and movies in analogies ("Hey 50 Cent, you wanna see my piece?", "Haven't you ever seen 'The 40 Year Old Virgin'?"). These films and movies are not relevant time pieces. Quentin Tarantino refers to movies and music all the time, but what he refers to has to deal with the topic at hand, such as a car chase movie during a car chase. He pays homage to TIMELESS classics. "The 40 Year Old Virgin" is neither TIMELESS or CLASSIC. Even if it would be in the future, it's still too early to reference it. It's poor taste. Well, for me, at least.
Also, product placement was fucking everywhere in this movie. It was so blatantly obvious. Huge Burger King backgrounds, Panasonic chips that would decide the fate of the universe, the robots wake up from their everyday machine state (cars, trucks, boom boxes) because the main character starts bidding a sacred map that Morticon or whatever the fuck the antagonist's name is on eBay. You kidding me?! The driving force of the story is held together in the realms of EBAY?!??! Terrible.
Product placement is inevitable, I know this. But do it tastefully, subtlety is the key. Do not talk about the products. Do not reference the products. Just USE the products as a meaningless prop. Make up the product name if you are actually going to need it in the story, like Tarantino does with Big Kahuna Burger, Red Apple cigarettes, Hattori Hanzo swords.
If you are a reviewer/critic who actually liked this movie, you will be shunned forever by me. Your reviews will be blocked when I peruse MetaCritic or Rotten Tomatoes.
Jay Weissberg at Variety: fuck you for your 90% awesome review. You will be shunned.
Kirk Honeycutt at The Hollywood Reporter: fuck you for your 90%. You will be shunned.
Luke Y. Thompson at LA Weekly: 85% fuck you.
Claudia Puig at USA Today: "Perfectly embodies the concept of a summer blockbuster with its simple good-guys-vs.-bad-guys plot, cheeky humor, and flawless special effects"? If this was sarcasm, you'd be loved. But it wasn't, you literalist retard. You are shunned.
On the other side of the coin: New York Times, Onion, Time, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Reader -- your reviewers hated the movie. You will be honored with a toast of my popcorn filled hand. And if I ever meet you, you will be embraced with a knowing brotherly eye and nod -- we know. We know.
The following clip is basically all that this movie amounts to. One big commercial for corporations and 80's nostalgia. This is a sign of what most people are delving into with their pop culture swims. Even when you want a break from thinking, this could make you take a permanent break from ever having a seminal thought again.
Michael Bay is the Antichrist.
Kaiser Chiefs -- "Never Miss a Beat"
Last night the household watched "Transformers". Now, I can honestly say I wasn't a fan of the cartoon growing up. I used to rent VHS tapes with "Transformers" episodes on them from Blockbuster Video, but I could never successfully sit through a full episode. I opted for "The REAL Ghostbusters" instead.
Taylor got the Michael Bay epic from Netflix. We sat down knowing full on that it was going to be a cheesy popcorn film.
It was terrible. It was the only movie I've seen where I've felt the need to walk out without seeing the ending. The number one pet peeve I have with anything media-wise is when the creators place the location and time in a well-defined setting using pop culture references to do so. Case in point: in "Transformers" the protagonist wears a Strokes T-Shirt throughout the film. The robots speak in terrible ebonics dialect. Characters use current shitty pop stars and movies in analogies ("Hey 50 Cent, you wanna see my piece?", "Haven't you ever seen 'The 40 Year Old Virgin'?"). These films and movies are not relevant time pieces. Quentin Tarantino refers to movies and music all the time, but what he refers to has to deal with the topic at hand, such as a car chase movie during a car chase. He pays homage to TIMELESS classics. "The 40 Year Old Virgin" is neither TIMELESS or CLASSIC. Even if it would be in the future, it's still too early to reference it. It's poor taste. Well, for me, at least.
Also, product placement was fucking everywhere in this movie. It was so blatantly obvious. Huge Burger King backgrounds, Panasonic chips that would decide the fate of the universe, the robots wake up from their everyday machine state (cars, trucks, boom boxes) because the main character starts bidding a sacred map that Morticon or whatever the fuck the antagonist's name is on eBay. You kidding me?! The driving force of the story is held together in the realms of EBAY?!??! Terrible.
Product placement is inevitable, I know this. But do it tastefully, subtlety is the key. Do not talk about the products. Do not reference the products. Just USE the products as a meaningless prop. Make up the product name if you are actually going to need it in the story, like Tarantino does with Big Kahuna Burger, Red Apple cigarettes, Hattori Hanzo swords.
If you are a reviewer/critic who actually liked this movie, you will be shunned forever by me. Your reviews will be blocked when I peruse MetaCritic or Rotten Tomatoes.
Jay Weissberg at Variety: fuck you for your 90% awesome review. You will be shunned.
Kirk Honeycutt at The Hollywood Reporter: fuck you for your 90%. You will be shunned.
Luke Y. Thompson at LA Weekly: 85% fuck you.
Claudia Puig at USA Today: "Perfectly embodies the concept of a summer blockbuster with its simple good-guys-vs.-bad-guys plot, cheeky humor, and flawless special effects"? If this was sarcasm, you'd be loved. But it wasn't, you literalist retard. You are shunned.
On the other side of the coin: New York Times, Onion, Time, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Reader -- your reviewers hated the movie. You will be honored with a toast of my popcorn filled hand. And if I ever meet you, you will be embraced with a knowing brotherly eye and nod -- we know. We know.
The following clip is basically all that this movie amounts to. One big commercial for corporations and 80's nostalgia. This is a sign of what most people are delving into with their pop culture swims. Even when you want a break from thinking, this could make you take a permanent break from ever having a seminal thought again.
Michael Bay is the Antichrist.
Kaiser Chiefs -- "Never Miss a Beat"
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